Misery in Missouri

This week I traveled to Missouri, Kansas City to be exact, to visit a client.  I enjoyed the trip out there, and the visit to the client, but ran into some issues on the way back...the weather changed.

Woke up on Thursday to graupel pelting me from the hotel and the long walk across the parking lot to the client's building.  For those of you unused to graupel I've taken the time to describe steps to simulate it (I'm considerate that way):

1) Buy stones from your local pet store, the small kind one find's lining the bottom of a Beta Fish tank.
2) Place the stones overnight in the freezer.
3) Get a friend (or an enemy) to grab a handful of these frozen stones, have him stand about ten feet away.
4) Have said friend hurl this handful of stones at you about as hard as he can.

That is what it felt like.  Fortunately, I had my hat and a leather jacket to deflect most of the damage.

When I finished at the customer site, there was more grapple, until i reached the rental car, at which point it had changed to a strong snow.  The snow made traffic awful and the usually uneventful 40 minute drive to the airport turned into a nerve wracking 3 hour journey.

Along the way I did stop and have Chinese food at the Iron Wok.  Very good food, highly recommend it!

There were no earlier flights so I settled down and did some email work.  What follows is the brief version of the announcements pertaining to my flight:

1) T-1 hour (an hour before my flight was to depart) an announcement came on saying our flight was delayed due to mechanical problems at its point of origin.
2) T+0: an announcement came on stating they had begun boarding at the point of origin.
3) T+ 40 minutes later: The flight was delayed on the tarmac at the point of origin due to weather.
4) T+ 70 minutes: The flight had taken off from the point of origin.
5) T+3 hours: The plane lands at the airport
6) T+3.5 hours: We board the aircraft.
7) T+3hours 50 minutes: Deicing operations begin.
8) T+4 hours 5 minutes: Deicing operations knock out the Auxiliary Power Unit on the aircraft.
9) T+4 hours 20 minutes: APU is back up
10) T+ 4 hours 30 minutes: They need to deice the plane again
11) T+ 4 hours 50 minutes: Deicing is complete
12) T+ 5 hours 5 minutes: We finally take off.

Instead of arriving in bed at around 10:00 pm, I finally get to sleep some time after 3:00 am.  Not a pleasant trip.

The Adult in the Family

This week was an unexciting one, until dinner tonight.  Nothing much happened: I worked, I slept, I worked some more.  What's worse is Genghis Con, a board game convention, is going on this weekend in Denver and I'm not attending.  I love Genghis Con!  Some of my fellow players I only get to see at Genghis.  Oh well.  At least the in-laws came down this weekend.


And for those of you whom know my sense of humor, I did not come up with the name (although I wish I had).  I guess I'm going to be stuck with coming up with the Noonien Sigh Con, which is just lame.


So overall it was an unexciting week.  Then comes dinner.  Marie, Arionna and I were in the kitchen.


"Mom," Arionna said, "can you make me a taco?"


"No, I've got to go pick up cookies in a few minutes from the girl scout booth.  Besides, I'm not the only adult in the room.  There is one standing right next to me?"


Arionna looks around.  I wait for her to ask me to make her a taco as she disappears around the corner of the kitchen.  Moments later she comes back with my mother-in-law in tow.


Yep, not only am I expendable, I'm no longer considered an Adult!

Culture Clash

Today was a busy day.

This morning the wife went and picked up Girl Scout Cookies (mmm....Lemon Chalet...Thin Mints).  So it was cookie sorting this morning and handing them out to the parents.

Arionna, Alora and I headed to Lowes to make a heart shaped jewelry box.  Unfortunately, they had run out within 15 minutes.  We had hoped to be there earlier, but couldn't make it since we were busy looking for the Lowes' Apron for one of the kids.  I've mentioned this deal Lowes has in the past, and I still like it.  Just need to get there earlier.

After rushing home, we were off to LoDo Denver for two big events!  First, Monster Jam, a Monster Truck race.  We had great seats and saw the 5 of the big trucks: Stone Crusher, Iron Warrior, Tasmanian Devil, Black Stallion and Gravedigger.  I'm not much of a monster truck person, but I had a good time.

Tasmanian Devil (driven by Nicole Johnson) won the racing portion.  Gravedigger won the freestyle.  When that ended it was dinner time and we had Italian at Mici's.  It's a nice little restaurant with good food.

Finally, at 730 pm, we had tickets at the Paramount for Ethan Bortnick.  This 9 year old is an amazing prodigy on the piano.  A good video of him can be found here.  If he comes to your town, go see him, it is money well spent.  He is 9, and it shows, but his talent on the piano is incredible.

So, a day chock full of events, autographs, and fun for the family.  There is only one thing that can make it perfect: A lemon Chalet GS Cookie!  I'm off to rectify that little oversight now.

M.S.D.S. Mark III Ends “Ambush Leopard’s” Reign of Terror

(Warning Graphic Photo Ahead – not for the faint of heart)

Today I’m proud to report the capture of Arionna, a.k.a the Ambush Leopard. Renown for her snowball ambush tactics preceded by a distinctive “Rebel holler”, she is single handedly the greatest threat to Dad’s peace in the Greater Denver Metro Area.

To counter this threat, I developed the Mass Snow Delivery System Mark III (M.S.D.S.). Although it lacks accuracy, it makes up for it by blanketing a wide area in snowy powder. It has a mediocre range, lacking the accuracy and distance of a well packed “snow grenade”, but it can maintain a rate of fire higher than any non-prepared snow ball position.

Mass Snow Delivery System Mark III

Before hunting the Ambush Leopard, I made sure to outfit myself in my 100% Recycled Bovine Hide Snow Resistant Jacket and Snow Repelling Varmint Furred Head Gear. So equipped, I staked out the Ambush Leopard’s primary hunting ground, a snow covered driveway. I proceeded to go about performing what activities have successfully attracted the Ambush Leopard’s attentions in the past, namely, clearing snow from the driveway.

Me and the M.S.D.S Mark III waiting for the "Ambush Leopard" 

I didn't have long to wait. Shortly after beginning snow clearing operations, I spotted the Ambush Leopard’s distinctive camouflage outfit lurking behind a tree. Out of range, I turned my back on her, luring her to make her strike. Seemingly distracted, I counted to three. The Ambush Leopard had taken the bait and was preparing to strike. Just as her distinctive “Hoop and Holler” yell was made, a sound which will continue to haunt my dreams, I tightened my grip and let loose with a full battery of the M.S.D.S. Mark III. The following photo speaks to the success of the mission:

"Ambush Leopard' -  Reign of Terror finished by the M.S.D.S Mark III

At long last, the terror of the Ambush Leopard is ended. After interrogating the captive, I have determined there may be a greater conspiracy than that of a lone snow terrorist at work here. An evil mastermind, possibly the legendary Kaylee, a.k.a “Ice Shard”, could be coordinating these attacks. I’ll keep you posted on any developments as I find them.

Home Depot & Preparing for the Big Game!

This morning the youngest two and I made the monthly ritual of going to Home Depot. They made little shelfing units in the shape of hearts. I really happy Home Depot has these little outings for kids. Not only do I spend time with the girls, but they take home something they made and feel proud of it. This summer, when it is warmer, we will purchase some paints and make a weekend of painting all the projects they have completed.

In other news, the big game is tomorrow. We are planning the Fondue dinner, which we do every year for the Super Bowl. It is a great way to eat dinner all game long. We will start bread course at kick off and by half time we are eating the dinner course. After that is a rambunctious time as we hoot and holler for the Steelers to wi.

Promises to be a blast and here's hoping the Steelers can pull it off again!

Knowing My Worth...

Most people think Colorado as a cold place. The reality is much different, Colorado is a beautiful with a great climate. We have seen temperatures in the 80s in February. We really only have one or two cold snaps a year. Today the first strong cold snap arrived.

Today is cold. Bitterly cold. It was so cold, I saw a covered wagon full of penguins with "Arizona or Bust" written on it. School was cancelled because last time it was this cold the hydraulics on the school buses froze. That last was not a joke.

My Wife The Wise (yes, I believe that is her full name) went and picked up some movies for the kids to watch the day before. They happily plopped in front of the TV, had some popcorn, and watched the movies. Later they made Brownies for snacks and piping hot chili for dinner.

Tomorrow appears to be shaping up much like today. School was cancelled. So my children were concerned about what to do tomorrow at home. "Can we get more movies," the youngest asked.

"No," my wife replied, "I'm not going out there. It's too cold."

My children pondered this for a bit. "Well, then let's send Dad!"

So, courtesy of the Kaylee-Alora-Arionna dictionary, we have the following:

Dad (n): The most expendable person in the family.